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Billy B and the Kingdom of Crystal Skull Chapter 1 So, there I was leaving work when I came up on this red light. The sky was dusky as the nightime was almost set. A storm was brewing in the distance with winds howling in pain. I brought my car to a halt. I am Billy B. I could feel that something was coming. I could feel it deep within my loings. A rumbling, powerful force the likes of which i have never
encountered. I waited at the stopsign for a few seconds, looking in the rearview mirror for what was to come. A shape emerged from the shadows behind my car, Slowly and shyly
revealing itself. I lay in wait as what was soon to be revealed as a vehichle rolled up beside my car. I looked over at my advesaries strange car, what looked to be a cross between a honda civic and a del sol. I staired into the deep tent of the passenger window, but the tent was strong, and held my eyes at bay. At that moment the window slid down about
an inch and I noticed a sigorette falling to the ground like one would image it to look like. Know, if you now me, you now that I will not put up with Riceburning car imbreading
litterers in my town. The light turned green and I poped my clutch and let the throttle linkage unravel as my foot hit the gas at lightning speeds. Oh, by the way, I drive a black 1995 300zx Twin Turbo SGP Stage 19 with brand new weatherstripping for the T-Tops. But lets get back to the real life actual event that happened to me yesterday...My tires gripped the pavement and my boost level was matched only by the since of absolute pleasure of nowing I was about to whoop some riceburning ass. I got up to about 140mph, and I looked in the rearview and I did not see my opponent. After a quick glance I noticed he was at my rear 1/4th car length behind me. I had beeten the Honda Del Civic, but not by much. I felt my anger burning through my skin, as my core
temprature arose. I slowed down a hair to let the honda get ahead of me by a hair, and then swerved my Z into his rear quarter panel. Just at the moment of impact when I was ready to feel the crunch of metal and Iron, there was nothing. The car had vanished. I slowed down to a stop and contemplated what had just occured. Who could have accomplished such a task as vanishing a riceburing vehichle. Then the thought occoured to me. The driver must have
been a wizard. Know if you now me, you now that I do not put up with wizards driving around in my town in their little riceburning honda's. I drove my car back to my shop and hopped onto the internet to do some searching for local wizards that would be powerful enough to do such a task. After googling "wizard +honda +dallas +address" I came up with one match. Name - Frank Dumeldorf
Address - Kingdom of Crystal Skull
Dallas TX, 75201 I know had his address. It was time to pay him a little visit. I am Billy B. Chapter 2 I took the Z to my secret spy shop for it's weekly checkup and to prepair my vehichle defences for whatever a wizard might throw at it. As I got out of the car I checked the
messages on my cellphone and listened to a message Kyle at SGP leaft for me. He wanted to buy me dinner at then take me to a Opera. I think sometimes kyle is alittle forward. Last
week he leaft me a voicemail with him singing and playing his guatar again. So again Kyle....Stop calling me. I'm not into guys. Anyways, after making some tweeks to the Z's
defense system and a few new additions to the exterier offenses, I was ready to confront Frank and his riceburning Kingdom of Crystal Skulls. I drove down to Dallas and found his kingdom fairly easily. I drove my Z over the drawbridge and noticed the Main entrance doorway was closed. I flipped the switch next to my turbo timer and the machine guns slid out from under both sides of my car. I turned the lever and blasted the door down in front of me as I drove my Z right into the gaping hole that was leaft. I clearly starteled the wizard, he threw his Jack in the Box Curly fries about 10 feet in the air and jumped up and grabbed his wizard staff with a crystal skull on the end of it. As he held the skull I could feel a magical forcefeild form around the castle. But he was too late. I was already
inside. The skull on the staff's eyes started to glow a ghostly red fire in it's eyeholes. I though quickly and sprayed some slipper gue into the abomination's eyes, nose, and earholes until the fire extinguished. At that moment, I noticed about 100 hinchmen, running out from the hallway with warpaint and spears hooping and hollering. The wizard begain to laugh clearly thinking that I was afraid of 100 evil henchmen. I ran toward the hallway so I could take all of them on in a frontal assault. I begain my brutel display of my turkish uncle fighting style. After I crippled the first 50 of them the remaining henchmen ran away in fear. The wizard threw the staff at my Z, in a futile attempt to escape my wrath. He started running, but did not notice that the slippery gue was all around him. He slid about 15 feet on the ground and came to a crunching halt when he hit the side of my Z. Luckily for him, I have a protective film on the Z which protects it from scapes, dents or scratch's. But he did'nt now that. And he sure deserved the beating that was soon to come. I got out of the Z, and clicked my heals to gether to enable the gue stabilizer system in my shoes. I begain to repeatedly attack the wizard with stunning martial arts moves seen only in Walker,Texas Ranger films. After a couple of minutes of savage beating and a well planned jump snap mule kick, I felt the ground shaking...the floor was giving way...I grabbed my trusty whip and cracked it over head at the hanging shandaleer and swung my way to safety. The wizard clearly has booby traps. I walked back over to the Z and got out my Stick of Poo. I am Billy B. Chapter 3 The smell was horrible. I can still see the poop dribbling off the end of the poostick. I have a new poo supplier and he won't tell me what kind of animal can make such a horrible
smelling poo. I begain smearing the poo all over the wizards face, chest, neck, and hair. I then noticed his magicly altered car in his garage. I walked into the garage, and felt a
energy forming around me. I heard a noise and looked back and saw the wizard to be laughing. He screamed "I have you now Billy B. You are locked in my magical prison". Know, if you now me, you now that I do not put up with being locked in any magical prison's. My Z was about 50 feet away, all I had was the poostick, which was about half empty, and
the determination to end this wizard's reign of rice burning car enthuiasam. I found the magical forcefeild centered around the open door. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath
focusing on the inner Billy B. After a found my chi, and opened my eyes and rammed the poostick into the forcefeild. I could feel the raw power of the forcefeild and what seemed
to be a fools erand to brake it. Just as my strength was about to give out, I felt something burning in my heart. My adrenelyn started pumping, and I could feel pressure rising in my veins. My body was fueling the poostick, giving it more power. The pressure was rising again and again. Then it occured to me. My body was producing boost. After I realized that I thought...If this is happening, I must have a boost contoller some where in
my body. I begain contolling my body like my Z...I thought of a number...20. i then leaned harder into the forcefeild...25...30...35lbps. I felt the magical prison begin to crumble around me. The entire Kingdom begain to come down. I picked up some dubree from on top of the wizard and carried him over to the Z, I layed him on top of the rear windsheild and drove out from the castle rubble. Chapter 4 As I was heading out of Dallas I noticed a little icecream shop. I pulled over and found that the wizard was already awake. He had gotten most of the poo out of his hair, and was working on the dried up poo that had hardened in his ears. He oppologized to me for driving a honda, and said he would not come back to my town again. just to show him no hard feelings, I took him inside the icecream shop with me. I ordered rocky road....and told the wizard to get what ever he wanted. I sat down at the booth and started eating my rocky road when my phone begain to buzz. I checked my voicemail and saw that kyle had leaft me another lovesong. At that moment the wizard came to the table and sat down and started eating his icecream. I looked at him and said..."what kind of icecream is that?" Pink Sherbert - was
his reply. I let out a long hard Sye, and called Kyle back on my Blackberry. I new that they both liked pink sherbert. I introduced them and now apparently they are going to the
opera soon. So maybe kyle will get off my back. But I guess the moral of the story is that inside every true Z owner there is a boost that comes from within. A boost that is more
powerful then any wizard or pack of angry ninja's or demented icecream truck drivers that get in you way. So that was the long awaited update in the Billy B chronicles.
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21:08:12 03/05/08
